Heirlooms
I remember vividly my siblings, sister in-laws together sorting through my mom's belongs at the request of my dad after she past away. 


When we sorted through my mom's clothes, I remember really wanting specific sweaters, sweatshirts and then I came across her handkerchiefs.  I took several of her hankies...I wasn't sure why I wanted them at the time.  


Now, fast forward ten years later when our daughter, Sara was planning her wedding, we were talking to Lori Kees, the florist we used (check out her blog:  http://ooohlalaflorals.blogspot.com/ ) on how we wanted to incorporate my mom's hanky in some way in order to feel like she was not only not forgotten, but that she was with us at the wedding.  

My mother's handkerchief wrapped around Sara's bouquet

Lori did a fabulous job wrapping my mom's hanky around Sara's bridal bouquet.  It was tasteful and elegant!  I will never forget the moment Lori  showed me how she used the hanky.  My dad was sitting in a brown leather chair in the groom's room at the church, I was assisting with distributing boutonnieres and corsages at the time Lori came in with Sara's bouquet.  When I pointed out to my dad that it was my mom's hanky on Sara's bouquet--well, seeing it took his breath away.  Seeing him react to it took mine.  Our eyes locked and both of us began to weld up with tears--mom was there, she was ever present and not forgotten.  It was an amazing moment.

My Daddy arriving for the wedding in the groom's room

That sweet, tender moment I had with my dad prior to Sara walking down the aisle with Joe made me think about wanting to have a "special something" to pass down to my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren...you get the idea, some type of heirloom from me!
     
So I asked my friends if anyone knew someone who would take my wedding gown and make it into a Christening Blanket.  Julie Peterson, a friend from church and a phenomenal seamstress said she could do it!  So I took my  expensively wrapped and well-preserved wedding dress out of its sealed container and found it to be in great condition!  I told Julie I trusted her with it--(okay, I have to throw this in here--after pulling my wedding gown out of the gold box, it was wrapped in tissue and blue plastic--I pulled it out...and I just had to try it on--I am happy to report that my dress still fit!  Actually it was a little on the loose side...I feel that's worth bragging rights at my age...right?!)  Julie said she was nervous about cutting it up and thought she needed to call me one last time before she took her sewing shears to the lace.  But she jumped in and made the most beautiful Christening Blanket.  You may ask, "Why a blanket, why not a Christening Gown?"  I thought about a Christening Gown, but the "gown" didn't go over well with the men in my family...a blanket on the other hand could be used for a boy or a girl.  

Kathie and Joe Gautille - April 27, 1985

I saved the blanket for Sara's baby shower.  In a box I placed an 8" x 10" picture of Joe and me on our wedding day--in a plastic protector, wrapped the blanket in tissue with the picture laying on top.  This way in generations to come, not only can they see what the blanket originally looked like from the wedding dress, but they can see who passed it down.  

During the baby shower, Sara knew the minute she saw the wedding picture that I really "did it", I really had my wedding gown cut up for a very special gift for her baby and future babies to come...

Christening Gown and Baby bonnets made by Julie Peterson from my wedding gown

And I am so happy I did...

Sara, Landon Lee, and Ryan Corl

The Deacon who Baptized Landon with Sara, Ryan and Landon

Melissa and Eric Felderhoff, Landon's Godparents

I Lasso hankies and wedding dresses being passed down for generations to come!

I Lasso the past touching the future!

Proud Mom!

Our son, Adam is a grad student at Boston University.  He is studying trumpet performance.  

Adam's gift for music doesn't stop with the trumpet...he also has a beautiful tenor voice--that most people hear at weddings or bars in Dallas. 

However, this summer he put together about 9 or 10 songs he has written, music and lyrics and headed out to Colorado to Rocky Mountain Recording Studio--each time taking a good buddy to accompany his music. He has also had a great friend help with building and updating his AJ Adams website--he is blessed with great friends-- www.ajadamsmusic.com

Well, up until this week, I had only heard bits and pieces of the CD.  I have yet to hear any song all the way through...until now...


I hope you will take a listen!  
I can't wait to hear the rest of the CD!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XCctUx2s84


I Lasso being a proud mom!  

Babies and Puppies!


What is it about babies, puppies and kittens too? We are so blessed to have a new baby in the family...of course if you follow my blog, you know I am talking about our stinkin' cute grandson, Landon Lee!  

Too cute, how I miss this little boy!

Thank heavens for technology, because between YouTube video, Skyping, electronic phone photos, and emails I feel connected.  

Four month old Landon Lee Corl!

But there is nothing like holding and smelling and loving a baby in person!  Watching our daughter and son in-law rejoice in the giggles, sweet moments of Landon recognizing them, not to mention the remarkable changes that take place in a short period of time in Landon is so refreshing!  There are days I will replay a video he is in over, and over again...just trying to lessen the miles between us!

Yesterday, we brought home our sweet Australian Shepherd puppy!  What fun it was to be completely surrounded by a litter of pups--and other women who are just as crazy about them as me!!

Puppies, puppies everywhere!  (L to R) Renee, me, Helen.
Such fun at Heidi's with Mackenzie's litter of pups!

Lots of kisses from Piper!

Western Hill's Sugar's litter of puppies
(L to R) Heidi, Renee and me with lots of pups!

I think she knows she is going home with Jenna and me!

Mackenzie and her puppy Soup!

Piper Cub Airplane

The puppy we picked up yesterday is my husband's dog.  He is a pilot, and decided to name her after The Piper Cub Airplane.


I think Piper the puppy is much cuter than the plane!  Yesterday, spending time with all of the puppies, made be so thankful for all things beautiful,big and small!

Piper and me!  

Jenny with Piper!  Piper loves this girl!

I can't wait to chronicle more of the adventures we have with Landon our grandson, and Ellie and Piper our sweet Aussie girls!
And not to forget our wonderful kids, Sara,Adam and Jenna!

Ellie in snow last winter!

Ellie, our (almost) 2 year old Australian Shepherd!

Landon recognizing Moose!  A boy and his dog...

I Lasso the sweet things in life,that bring joy!

First Day of Fall!

Today is the first day of Fall!  How I love this time of year!!  I love the crisp morning air, the leaves beginning to change, going to flea markets, Texas State Fair, pumpkin patches, Starbucks for a pumpkin latte', nature walks and being on the cusp of the holidays...

To celebrate fall I want to share this poem:

A Fall Song

by Ellen Robena Field

Golden and red trees Nod to the soft breeze, As it whispers, "Winter is near;" And the brown nuts fall At the wind's loud call, For this is the Fall of the year. Goodbye, sweet flowers! Through bright Summer hours You have filled our hearts with cheer We shall miss you so, And yet you must go, For this is the Fall of the year. Now the days grow cold, As the year grows old, And the meadows are brown and sere; Brave robin redbreast Has gone from his nest, For this is the Fall of the year. I do softly pray At the close of day, That the little children, so dear, May as purely grow As the fleecy snow That follows the Fall of the year. I Lasso the beauty of FALL!

Giggles & Grandson!


This is my daughter's blog, but I had to share it because it really reminds me of the simple pleasures of life...like the giggle of a grandson!  I hope you enjoy this sweetness as much as I do, not because Landon is my grandson, but because it's a baby learning he can make noise!
www.saraandryancorl.blogspot.com

I LASSO Giggles!

Passages ~


When I was a freshman in college, I remember reading a book that even to this day...some 35 years later I think about...
The book is entitled Passages - Predictable Crises of Adult Life.     


Gail Sheehy, the author of Passages, wrote about each decade of adult life--gave it a catchy name, often incorporating alliteration and examined some of the general life crises that occurs when one reaches such a milestone in life.  


I don't really know why I remember this book so vividly.  At the time I was 19...I guess I was interested in why she labeled my upcoming 20's, "The Trying 20's"!   Yet, I remember pulling it off my bookshelf again when I became a mother.  In some ways, Ms. Sheehy while using a general brush stroke in describing the various phases of life--for me, she seemed to capture the essence of each decade...a 20-something generally is breaking away from home and a trying to discover where he/she fits into the world.  There is Catch the 30's, the Forlorn 40's and the Refreshed 50's.  The phase for 50-somethings is expressed as the best of life for those who let go of old roles and find renewal of purpose.  Hmmm... 


I see our kids going through "The Trying 20's"...all at a different pace, which makes it so wonderful, because each one is so unique...but I am trying to decide if I feel Refreshed at 50!  This whole "letting go" thing...letting go of the old roles I am struggling with right now more than Joe is...but I don't know if that is because he is 10 years my senior and entering a new passage of his own.  


Oh, I know it's is an overstated cliche' "We've done our job when we give our kids wings"...but there needs to be a disclaimer with this overly familiar theme..."as we give our kids wings, it stings!"


We have given our kids wings...and I am trying valiantly to grow up and be a Refreshed 50 something...but for over half my life, our children, my husband...they have been my purpose.


So...this week our oldest daughter prepares not only her third grade classroom for the new school year, Sara and her husband Ryan are making preparations for having the family 
together for their son, Landon's Baptism!

Sunday morning at 5:30am our son, Adam packed up his Xterra, a U-haul trailer and dog Ducati and headed on a three day drive to Boston where he will be attending grad school for Trumpet Performance.  

Boston University

Heather and Adam celebrate the day they met
which was their first day at Baylor University, their freshman year--5 years ago!
Heather is headed to Toronto for Culinary school in September. 

Jenna's energy is contagious!  A new Mary Kay Consultant

Jenna at the Mary Kay convention in Dallas a few weeks ago!  

Our youngest, Jenna is finishing up her degree this fall, and has just become a Mary Kay Consultant--and if that's not enough, she always seems to have a dog-sitting, babysitting, house-sitting job on the side.  Wish I could bottle her energy!  


I love spending time with Joe--I am really looking forward to doing more traveling with him.  I also enjoy our time at home.  I have also been blessed to be volunteering my time on our church parish pastoral council.  We have been members of St. Ann for 26 years!

So these passages we go through--while our kids continue to explore the "Trying 20's"-- I think I will cherish the roles I have had and will finally let go...give those old roles I embraced for half of my life--the wings, and start to truly embrace a new purpose for myself!  


Oh, I can't close out this blog entry without mentioning how life has changed for our four-legged, canine family members.  My Aussie, Ellie, is an only "dog" at home now.  She is missing our beloved Pirate, who died earlier this year and now is starting to miss Ducati--since he left with Adam for Boston, she confused right now and a bit of a cling-on...but she knows she is loved!

Ellie, Pirate, Ducati waiting for the OK to come into the house!

Kathie and Ellie November 2010

I Lasso trying to truly embrace

The Refreshing 50's!

Growing Old Ain't for Sissies 

~ So I am Working on Staying Young!

Daddy and (me) Kathie

I am a wife, mother of three adult children, and a NEW grandmother of one--and in the matter of two weeks time I have seen my stage in life through two very different set of eyes...what do I mean?


In the past two weeks I have spent one with my Dad and one with my grandson!


I recently spent a week with my 81 year old Daddy.  My dad lives in Tampa--I live in Dallas, Texas. He is currently recovering from a fall and an terrible injury!

Dad and my husband Joe

Joe was able to visit 

The one-on-one time I had with my dad was wonderful, but exhausting.  I spent from dawn to dark helping my dad in and out of his wheelchair--(I have the bruises to prove it), getting food for him, assisting him changing his clothes, meeting him for doctor appointments--(Please note:  I know there are caregivers who do this 24/7 and I have a great deal of respect for the commitment.).  It was a blessing that I was able to go and to help him, and keep him company too!  


My dad has been sedentary most of his life--and due to his recent injury he is now required to "work out" in Rehab, and at times I found it painful to watch.  


I became his cheerleader, and at times comforter--especially in acknowledging that what he was being asked to do, while painful and stressful, would make him stronger.  I often just listened to him express his exasperation with his physical situation and how he relied on others to do every day things for him.  


The week AFTER my visit with my Dad, I had the good fortune of spending three days with my daughter, son in-law and new grandson Landon!  I babysat Landon during the day, while Sara went to a two-day teacher workshop.

Kathie (me) and Landon

While Landon is only two months old, I had forgotten how much I had to be "on my toes" while watching him!  

At times I truly felt like I was competing in an Olympic event--rocking, swaying, lifting wrapping, changing, washing...then he fell asleep!  


Tip-toeing to the  bathroom to take care of "nature's call" I suddenly hear a high pitched cry coming from the other room, so I sprint out of the bathroom.  By now my panties were hovering around my knees, while leaping into action I tried valiantly to pull them up while dodging the baby swing, baby floor gym, dog crate and coffee table before reaching the finish line...I mean before reaching Landon!  But the hush that came over him when I picked him up made the baby obstacle course worth it!

So, what did I glean from these two experiences? 

I want to stay in shape to enjoy Landon, and any other grand babies that may come along.  I also want to be active, which means as I age I need to continue to exercise.  I want to be able to look at my Golden Years with a little bit of zest and life!


Betty Davis said it best, "Growing old ain't for sissies!", however having two experience that span a spectrum of time and generations has helped me have the resolve to continue to exercise my body, mind and spirit--every day!  

I  Lasso being in the Sandwich Generation--helping Daddy and helping Landon!

I Lasso being active too!

The Fragile Flicker of Life

In the past year, my family has been celebrating life -- many of the good things in life:  New marriages, an 80th Birthday, high school and college graduations...  When you have a family that spans 6 or 7 different states--it's an incredible feat to get together over the course of a 3-5 year span.  But in 2010, the Stoeckle clan gather twice in one year!  Two weddings and the patriarch of the family hit a milestone birthday!  And before the year was out a new baby was on the way too!  God is amazing with his love and grace.

While I have been savoring the memories and reliving special moments of the past year--I have also looked back on situations and experiences that seemed tragic—and at the time I asked the big question--WHY?  Through the years I recognize I have some answers or at least answers that make sense to me.  But there are pivotal moments in my life where I really didn't understand why such sadness was happening.  But I do have the eyes to see how having gone through the pain helped formed me into the person I am.


I see so much irony in the hopes, and dreams and worries I lifted in prayer have in some ways morphed into something completely different from the original intention...that's what I want to share in this blog entry.

Some highlights from 2010:

Boston Stoeckle's with Papa Don, all wearing the T-shirts he had made for the "reunion/wedding weekend!

Heather (Adam's girlfriend) and Adam's graduation day from Baylor University!

Jessie and Matt Stoeckle's March wedding!

Sara and Ryan got married June 12, 2010

MOH -- Jenna and Uncle Michael singing at reception

Air Guitars

Stoeckle Family Reunion Sara and Ryan Edition T-shirts

Da'  Boys!

May 27, 2011 Ryan and Sara proudly welcome Landon Lee Corl to the family!

Seeing our daughter become a mother, brought back so many memories of my days as a young mom.  I remember holding Sara in the hospital thinking...this is all I have ever wanted to be...a good wife and mother.  And the Good Lord blessed me with both!  With every passing day, as the stress of new motherhood eased, I found myself utterly and completely enthralled  with this little girl.  Joe and I thought we wanted at least 3-4 children, and our plan was to have them close in age...similar to my family with my own siblings.  That was our plan.


But God had a different plan.  And while God's plan is a perfect plan, it is not without pain or heartache.


We lost our first son when I was 28 years old.  Sara was a year old at the time of our loss.  He was our second baby.  

I went for my 20-week, 5 month check-up and my doctor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat.  An emergency sonogram confirmed what my doctor called the beginning of a late pregnancy miscarriage.  I called this miracle of life,  was now a fragile flicker of life...a baby we planned for, a baby we had dreams for, but a baby we lost.   

At the time, I didn't know that a lot of women miscarry--so while intellectually I became aware of this fact--I didn't find it a comfort.  I never really asked WHY we lost the baby, why it was taken away from us…I just believed that for some reason God must have needed another angel in heaven.  I was just anxious to get the “go ahead” to try to conceive again. 

My doctor mentioned that he had pathology results back from the fetus we lost.  (I hated the clinical term he used to describe our son).  I didn't recall that tissue from the baby was sent to a pathology lab for genetic testing.  


When he read the results to me, all I heard was this foreign medical mumbo-jumbo language...then he said our son was a “Trisomy 21” baby.  I asked him what that meant. He said, “Kathie, the baby you lost had Down Syndrome.”  


He paused so I could take in and absorb the information he had just given me.  Suddenly I felt as if he had taken my head into his right hand and just slammed it into the the back wall of his office.  I got dizzy and nauseous, and then started to cry. How can this be…I’m young, I have already had one healthy baby…does this mean I can’t have more children?  


While Joe and I went through the grieving process, we also went through extensive genetic counseling.  It was there we were told we had a 99% chance that we would NOT have another baby with Down Syndrome.  Because of our faith, I knew if we conceived and discovered we were going to have a baby with Down Syndrome, we would not terminate the pregnancy.  I wanted to be sure—I mean truly understand what it would mean if Joe and I had a baby with Downs, before we attempted to conceive again, I did a lot of homework.


Intellectually, I learned of all the various anomalies that were associated with a baby with Downs.  What I didn't know was how I would feel emotionally having a baby with special needs at birth.  I was being brutally honest...would we get looks of disappointment from others upon seeing our baby...or worse would there be pity?  Personally, I went through a great deal of soul searching.  If I was not up for the challenge, or had the courage to face the emotional aspects of having a baby with special needs, I didn't want to have more children.  


So after all of my research--I wanted to know first-hand how socially, emotionally, spiritually if I could handle this special blessing.  

So, I called the Down Syndrome Guild of Dallas and talked to mothers who have a child with Downs.  The moms were so generous in sharing their triumphs and challenges.  Our conversations on the subject were frank, honest, heartwarming and giving.  Talking with these moms and then reading an interesting essay on raising a child with Down Syndrome gave me a new perspective on parenting and prayer.

Emily Perl Kingsley wrote an insightful essay in 1987 entitled, "Welcome to Holland".  She describes in her essay about her experience of raising a child with special needs.  She equates it to planning a vacation to Italy.


 

While planning this fabulous vacation you do all of the research on points of interest, guide books, even possibly learning some Italian.  Finally the day comes to go on your vacation.  The plane takes off for this trip of a lifetime, and as the plane lands the flight attendant says, "Welcome to Holland"...the flight plan changed, and this is your final destination.
  

Ms. Kingsley goes on to say that while the flight plan changed--you weren't taken to some awful third world country, just a different destination!  And her point at the end of the essay is if you don't let go of the fact that the trip you dreamed of was to go to Italy, and never made it to Italy, all of your mourning would never allow you to discover the true beauty and wonderment of Holland.  

She happened to write this essay the year we lost our first son.  
The year we contemplated whether our family would remain small.  The year we prayed for God to give us the wisdom, courage and tools necessary to raise a child with special needs if that was His will for us.  

The year we trusted in God's perfect plan and conceived another baby.  

Fast forward a year later from when we lost our first son, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy son.  Nineteen months later I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, precious daughter.  

From my experience of losing a baby 24 years ago I have found I don't take new life for granted.  I know that I am more compassionate toward mothers AND fathers who experience a loss.  I also, ALWAYS stop and lift a prayer of encouragement and support for the moms and dads, sisters and brothers who have a child or sibling with special needs.

Oh, and remember I mentioned all of the prayers that I stormed heaven with requesting wisdom and courage to handle a child or children of special needs we might have been blessed with -- I believe Our good Lord gave me a very different opportunity as a mother and answered those prayers in a very different way, for a very different challenge--of which I will share in another blog entry.  


I want to share this video clip--I love this movie clip from Evan Almighty because it is an interesting perspective on how "God" (Morgan Freeman) explains how some prayers are answered:  

I Lasso the OPPORTUNITY that God blesses me with everyday!

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, ~ Jeremiah 1:5