Seriously, What Else Could Possibly Go Wrong?
...You Can't Even Begin to Imagine!
A few years ago there was a great commercial that played the song that Andy Williams made famous, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!" and in the opening shot, while this song blasts in the background is a dad practically giddy while he is pushing a shopping cart up and down the school supply aisle...yes, it was a STAPLES back to school commercial!
In Texas this week school started.
Why I randomly thought of this commercial stems from the fact as the summer winds down, so does wedding season. Summers are generally filled with attending weddings.
Which made me think about my wedding.
I want to share the story about the wedding that was perfect and magical despite the many obstacles that were thrown in our path!
Let me start off by saying, when I moved to Texas in 1984 from Pensacola, Florida, I didn't know a soul. I had only lived in Pensacola for three years, and when I first moved to P'cola I had one friend from high school that I knew. But now I was moving from a beach town to a metropolitan area, in another state--I had just received a promotion to the headquarters of the software company I worked for and moved to Texas with my dog, Gretel and a few sticks of furniture.
Three months after moving to Texas I met my husband in a bar, (we tell the kids church)...okay...not really. That story I will save for another blog posting. But our courting and engagement was approximately one month long, and then we were planning our wedding.
As with most wedding planning, the church, reception venue and band had to be booked immediately--which we did with my mom's help. We were getting married in my hometown, a suburb of Pittsburgh. So I relied a great deal on my mom for help since I was in Dallas and she was in Sewickley, PA.
Joe and I went through the church we were attending in Dallas for the marriage preparation classes. Shortly after taking the classes we decided to fly to Pittsburgh to meet the priest who would be officiating the sacrament of matrimony for us. We were excited to meet the priest from the parish since I was in 4th grade, St. James Catholic Church. We also took the marriage preparation paperwork we needed to give him to show we completed the classes. These classes are a church requirement. We had a wonderful visit and were very excited that everything was in motion for an April wedding.
In February, our wedding invitations arrived. Joe looked at the invitation which we both picked out and he said, "Kathie, my dad's name is not Peter!" (This is the hazard of marrying someone you have only known 7 months). I said, "What do you mean, everyone calls him Pete..." Joe said, "His name is Anthony Daniel..." My mistake...I didn't have Joe proof the invitation...so we paid to have the invitation reprinted and expressed mailed to us. Fortunately we had separate cards for the reception and the RSVP...they were fine...or so we thought.
Then I received a phone call from a Father Dennis Wargo from St. James Catholic Church, where Joe and I were getting married. He informed me that he had just been assigned to St. James and would be performing our wedding ceremony, but he needed our paperwork from the marriages preparation classes we were required to take.
Well, let me just say, this was more an inconvenience that our paperwork was lost. Father Wargo, took time through the course of a few long distance calls to get to know Joe and me a little before our big day. And regarding the paperwork, it took a quick phone call to ask for a copy of our certificate to be mailed off to St. James. Good...box checked...done!
Then in early March--just a little over a month before the wedding, my mom called to tell me the reception venue my parents made a sizable deposit on had just gone bankrupt and not only were we not having our wedding reception there (and they lost the deposit), but my mom was having a difficult time finding another place to for the reception. While on the phone with my mom, I was trying desperately to process the fact that the dream wedding reception I was hoping for was gone.
The news kept getting worse...she said, all of the surrounding hotels were booked and with the wedding a month away, the only place that WAS available was the Sewickley Holiday Inn.
The way my mom broke the news to me was if she pulled a pin on a grenade and threw it in the fox hole--she spurted out the words and held her breath for my reaction.
But I couldn't say a word...I just sobbed into the phone.
Joe heard me talking to my mom...when I hung up I was blubbering--not a pretty sight!
He thought by the way I was carrying on that someone had died...to me it was just the childhood wedding dream that died...I did not want my reception at the Holiday Inn.
But Joe, so wise, so smart took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye and said, "Are we going to be any less married having the reception at the Holiday Inn?" Through my gasping and sobbing, my tear-streaked face I said, "No"...he continued, "Well, Kathie, remember the goal...the goal is for us to spend our lives together..." Honestly, it took me a short time to embrace his attitude. But I realized he was right--the goal was to be husband and wife.
Well, not even a week later my mom called again..."Kathie, the band we hired just called, they have dis-banded...we need to come up with another band...or consider a DJ."
I will be honest, I really want to say that I was not upset...but I was...what more could go wrong--so I had myself a little pity-party and then we hired a DJ.
The new invitations had just arrived and yes...we had to have new reception cards printed too...with the Sewickley Holiday Inn.
Three weeks leading up to the wedding, I was having my wedding dress altered and having my veil/headpiece made.
I also wanted to get my hair trimmed and have a body wave (yes, this was the 1980's that's what we did ;-/ ) My hair was a little over shoulder-length and my head piece was being made for a long hair style. Why do I share this little detail...because what else could go wrong...
When I went for my hair appointment the hair stylist I always went to was out on an extended leave due to illness. I didn't know this until I arrived for my hair appointment. They quickly recommended another stylist that was able to see me right then--so I had a seat. BIG MISTAKE...BIG MISTAKE--did I mention this was a big mistake?!
A trim turned into a layered SHORT hairstyle. Not only that, but the headpiece that my veil would attach to looked ridiculous with this awful hairstyle. Who knew.
So two weeks before the big day I went for my final fitting and the redesigned of my veil-headpiece. I went to Francine's Bridal Boutique in Dallas, and told them I had an appointment with Eileen for my final fitting. Let me back up for a minute and explain, this is a very upbeat, classy store. A lot of joy and excitement usually resonates from all corners of this boutique. But on the day of my final fitting it was unusually quiet. Upon hearing me say I had an appointment with Eileen (I remember her name because my sister's name is Eileen)--they burst into tears. All of the employees were quietly crying.
Francine, the owner--she was an older women, came over to me to explain that someone else would have to help me, Eileen had died the night before and they were all in emotional turmoil. I didn't know what to say. She assured me that everything would be taken care of, but to please be patient with them. I explained when I would needed everything and she felt certain they would meet the deadline.
I left the shop so sad. I called Joe and told him what had just happened, he was empathetic and didn't really know what to say, but wanted to make sure I would have my dress in veil in time. But Joe had some bad news for me, the diamonds we bought for my wedding bands were lost (how does this happen?). But the jeweler was going to "make it right" but we may have to use other diamond bands for the ceremony. I just laughed...I said, whatever bands I get married in are the bands I want to keep. I just kept focused on the goal...we would be married in less than two weeks.
I called a few of my friends, who were going to be bridesmaids in our wedding. When I spoke to my friend Judy, she said to me, "Kathie, do you think that maybe God is trying to tell you something?"
I asked her what she meant...she said, "Do you think maybe God is trying to tell you that this isn't meant to be?" I was so surprised by her questions, I asked, "What makes you say that?" And she said, "Kathie...look at how many things have gone wrong?" She said, "I don't know...I mean look at all that has happened this past month!"
- Priest relocates losing your paperwork
- The original reception place goes bankrupt taking a lot of your folks money, you barely find a place to have your reception
- The band you hired disbanded
- Your invitations had to be reprinted
- Your hair is chopped off by a scissor happy stylist, which requires your veil to be remade
- AND THE WOMAN WHO WAS WORKING ON YOUR WEDDING GOWN AND VEIL DIES THE DAY BEFORE YOUR FINAL FITTING!!!
And I added,
"Oh, and the jeweler lost the diamonds to my wedding band, just found that out..."
Judy shrieked. I said, "Judy what do you think God is trying to tell me?"
She said, "Maybe you are not to suppose to marry Joe!!"
I said, "Oh my gosh, that never entered my head."
She said, "Look at all the signs!"
I told Judy--what I had learned in this event planning is that when you plan a wedding it is one of the first thing you really do as a couple to start your life together.
Planning this wedding has been more "real" then if everything fell easily into place. We had to face disappointment and frustration...but we both stayed focused on the goal...we were going to get married and be husband and wife...maybe we focused more on the marriage part, and not the storybook wedding I wanted to initially focus on.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Father Wargo was really wonderful, and our families and friends showered us with love and many blessings. I still hated having the reception at the Holiday Inn, but I must admit, it was a great party!
One final comment, I found out after the wedding that the company I used for flowers went bankrupt...and they messed up the flowers--especially for the wedding cake...I asked for all white flowers, & NO DAISIES...my mom didn't even want me to see the cake...because on it was a stinkin' meadow of daisies...we still cut the cake and ate it, and it was delicious!
That was over 28 years ago. Just like the wedding planning there are times in a marriage when things go smoothly, they get rocky and disappointing, and sometime down right awful, but I never once thought Joe was not the person I was suppose to be with for life...
So when I hear people say I should have seen the signs...I often wonder if perhaps the signs are being mis-interrupted.
I Lasso staying focused on what really matters!
