Kathie Lassos the Moon!: tradition

Thursday, November 17, 2011

It will be Different...
Well, Thanksgiving is one week away...this will be a unique Thanksgiving for my family--it will be different.

Fortunately, we will have the three of us here for the holiday...there will be Joe, Jenna and me.

Jenna!

Sara will be spending the holiday with her husband's family in Houston.

Adam has such a short period of time off from Boston University, that flying back to Texas for the holiday would be expensive for a weekend trip.

Fortunately, I have a brother in Connecticut who is generously welcoming Adam to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with his family!

Adam with Connecticut Stoeckle--Melanie

I feel lucky to have Jenna home this year. I feel blessed that Joe and I have kids who would like to be home with us. But as our kids begin to truly live their own lives, it is time to rejoice in the change, and silence my selfish loss, because it will be different...

One of our most cherished family traditions of chopping our Christmas tree down the day following Thanksgiving must change this year...it will be different. It will be the first time it will not include the entire family. There have been years where we had to rent a vehicle to hold our kids, their friends and of course the dogs...that won't be the case this year.

But, our daughter, Jenna, our dogs Ellie, and Piper as well as Adam's girlfriend Heather will be going...it will be different.

Different isn't bad. It can be colorful, contrasting, distinct, particular, peculiar ...but going in with the positive attitude and rejoicing in the many blessings I DO have--rather than focusing on what I am missing, I believe will make this a joyous Thanksgiving. After all, it is also important to remember that the holiday is about giving thanks for so many things--not just family being together, but a strong faith in God, good health, love, a home, a purpose.

If you have followed my blog, you know that I am one of six children. We occupy six different states. One-by-one as we left the nest for careers or adventure my parents quietly endured the change--however that manifested itself--of not having their entire half-dozen home for any holiday.

Craig - CT; Kathie (me) - TX; Michael - FL; Mark - MA; Leenie - TN; Brian - CO

I hope I have the same courage my mom and dad had in never making me--or any of the half-dozen--feel guilty for not being able to afford to fly home, or preferring to have Christmas or a holiday with my/our own nuclear family.

I do not want my children to feel guilt-ed into spending the holidays with Joe and me. I don't want to see them eat TWO meals on the same holiday. I would rather delight in the time we have together...whether it is in the summer or fall, winter or spring...YES, it will be different, but I know that their love for us is not taking them away from us. It's just their turn to live their lives.

I know they will always know we are here for them. I know they know that all they have to do is invite us and we will be there. But for now, it will be different!

(L) - Ellie and Ducati next to Adam, Heather, Joe; (R) Moose next to Sara, Ryan, me
Jenna is taking the picture

I Lasso change, and the opportunity to grow when things are different!
As a post script to this entry I want to share this quote:

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a NEW life. What is it you would let go of today?"

~ Mary Manin Morrissey

This quote resonated with me--not because I am letting go of memories or "baggage" or "hurt" but rather launching my (our) kids into the world.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tradition

Whenever I think of family traditions, this song from the musical Fiddler on the Roof - "Tradition" runs through my head!

When Joe and I met in Dallas over 26 years ago, we were Texas transplants. Both of us had recently relocated to the metroplex. We both were living far from any family. I have four brothers and one sister plus my folks--all in five different states. Joe's parents and brother were on opposite ends of the US-- New York and California. So when we had our first baby...our daughter, Sara, it became crystal clear that holidays for us were going to be different. Spending the holidays with family was not a reality for us. Sunday dinners with the folks was not going to be a part of our world as a family. As our first Christmas with Sara approached I clearly remember talking to Greg, a co-worker of mine, about missing family during the holidays...I just didn't know what the Gautille Christmas was going to look like in our home. He too lived far from family and said he and his wife started their own "traditions" (yes...when I hear that word, I hear the dairyman,Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof singing TRADITION).

Greg mentioned going to a Christmas tree farm and chopping down their annual evergreen became part of their Christmas ritual

...And so it began for the Gautille household too--incorporating the old fashion tradition of choppin' the tree down and strapping it to the roof of our mini van! Now, 25 years later, it is a beloved TRADITION! Over the years we have refined the tradition...we now go on search of the perfect pine the Friday after Thanksgiving--intentionally dodging the madness of shoppers on Black Friday. This also allows us to secure a good tree. Oh...my bad...did I mention that the trees are not the magnificent, full, fresh cut New England pine trees.

The trees aren't quite as bad as Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, they are more along the line of a tree drawing from a Dr. Seuss story. We have had Christmas trees that had an 'S' shaped or worse, a zigzag trunk. We have had the most beautiful trees that were completely bare on one side--but against the right wall the tree was perfect! We have been known to tie our tree to the banister in order to keep it in the tree stand and not fall over...

So you may ask, why would we drive an hour and a half each way, and pay money for an ugly Christmas tree that we strap to the roof of our car and haul it back home? Tradition! Because if truth be told...this IS a Christmas gift!

Because for one day we slow down from the chaos in our lives, we all load into the SUV--even the dogs, and we spend the next hour and a half singing Christmas carols, talking, reminiscing about Christmas' past, being a family. And following our adventure at the tree farm--which includes: going on a hayride, trying valiantly to chop our perfect tree with saws that are awful, eating delicious Christmas cookies and yummy brownies, drinking apple cider, taking picture--lots of pictures. Then we load into our SUV again with our fresh evergreen firmly strapped to the top of the car and head home...singing, laughing, reminiscing...just being.
Tradition!
I believe traditions are the very fabric of a family!

PICTURES FROM THE PAST FEW YEARS