pur·pose

 I know throughout my life I have searched through prayer, through activities, through successes, through failures for my purpose in life.  I have found purpose as a wife, friend and mother.  I continue to be a wife.  I continue to nurture friendships.  But now that the kids have grown and are sort of on their own, I reflect and try to recalculate where I am going, how I contribute to those around me.

So what exactly does purpose mean--Webster defines it as:

 pur·pose 

–noun

• the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

• an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

• determination; resoluteness.

 So, here I am--in a different, new season of my life trying to determine or hear God's plan for me.  

Psalm 46:10 

~ Be still, and know that I am God.

We are asked to carry our cross.  Does this mean that we are to rise above all things, rise above the conflict that surrounds us, rise above joy that is missing, the frustration that presents itself daily?  Am I not carrying my cross if I choose a path of least resistance? 

I struggle with purpose right now.  While I firmly believe that life is a blessing. Life is good. Life can be lived as long as it is a gift, an offering to the world.  I am truly examining my need to ask myself about how effective can I be if there is so much resistance and conflict all of the time.  What lessons are there to learn?   What do I have control over?  What can I influence or change.  I understand that we can't change people.  When it comes to family, I love unconditionally--and this is not always a "cake walk" but I also know I am "no day at the beach" either.  But whether at home or at work or with friendships can anyone truly influence a different response with a different approach toward individuals?

I have often thought...when something is more work than it's worth, is it time to move on.  Move on in relationships, friendships, careers.  Or is this part of the cross God has given me to work through, to have purpose, to make a difference?

I just don't know.  

I Lasso new seasons in my life!