Thursday, January 10, 2013

Superwomen Syndrome, Really?

My New Normal

Over the weekend we had Sara, Ryan, little Landon home for our last Christmas--or Epiphany for the holiday season.  I kept all of the Christmas decorations up since Sara and her family were not able to come home for Christmas.  I really wanted Landon to see Papa Joe & Nonna's house at Christmas.

Yes, I decorate...I have snowmen, santas and Nativity scenes throughout the house.  As Jenna said, "Mom the house looks great!  Well, actually it looks like Santa just threw up, but I like it!"   

So, Sunday after church, I kissed the kids good-bye and they headed back to their home--yes, a few tears appeared as the car drove off.  Jenna went to work.  Adam was cramming in as much visiting of friends while home as he possibly could.  
Joe and I knew it was time to take the snowbabies, Christmas trees, jinglebells and stockings away until the next Yuletide.  

And so it began.  I started to get the after Christmas blues.  You know...
Naked house.
No familiar carols playing.
No more macaroni and felt ornaments on an evergreen.
No UPS, or FEDEX deliveries.
No Christmas cookies left.
Even the whiskey and egg nog were gone!

Today, Adam left for Boston.  I took him to the airport.  The entire drive to Love Field I was amazed I wasn't emotional at all.  In fact in some regard, I was quite proud of myself "manning up" and just taking care of business of getting kids to and from... 
I pulled up to passenger drop off at Southwest Airlines...the airline we luv the most...parked the car, pushed the button for the lift gate, got out of the car...and as Adam  pulled his trumpet case out of the car a gush of tears fell.  Not one or two was Niagara Falls--complete with erratic breathing.  

OH I WAS SO MAD AT MYSELF!  I really didn't want him to see me cry...for heavens sake the kid has been out of the house for years...but that "letting go" is still just so hard for me.
Adam and Pirate 12 years ago

I must invision Adam as a boy, rather than the terrific man he has become!
Adam walking me down the aisle at Sara & Ryan's wedding

I remember my mom having a very difficult time with the whole empty nest thing...

and I remember making a conscious decision I would not be like her (I mean that with a great deal of respect, I loved my mother)...but the sadness, and the feeling of being depressed, waiting for the next visit from one of her half dozen--her children were her world!  

So early on as a young mother I remember making a conscious decision to be involved with our kids activities, but I also got involved with a career, and then with volunteering...PTO, Sunday School Teacher, Girl Scout Leader, School Board President...then later taking on a high pressure job--something just for me--or so I thought...these activities, while they gave me more of an identity than "Sara-Adam-Jenna's Mom"...were all about the kids.  

Joe told me early in our marriage that he thought I had "The Superwoman Syndrome".  I thought he was crazy and making it up, but a woman by the name of Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz actually studied and wrote a book about women who essentially feel they have to be June Clever and Murphy Brown or for the younger audience, Robin Scherbatsky -- rolled into one person.  Some women can do it well...I seemed to trip over my cape--a lot!  

When I really think about it, yes--I do things that I can be proud of that are separate from my kids' activities.  But I am really no different than my mom. My children (and Joe) are my world.

And at the end of the day, while I am very proud of all my kids...I love my role as a mom, but in reality that "mom" is really gone--which as parents--that's what we pray and hope for...that they are ready and prepared to be launched out into the world.

The way I am reacting to this new normal has taken me by I will have to work harder at letting go.  I know that I am so very blessed that Joe and I have three great kids to enjoy when we are all together and miss when we are apart! 

I Lasso loving my kids as adults...or at least I will try to lasso!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Exciting News! Mama's Due with Baby #2!

Sara and Ryan surprised us a few months ago--at Thanksgiving--with some exciting news.  They arrived at our home during the late morning.  As our grandson was brought out of the car, it was the first time I really think he remembered the house, the dogs, and of course...Papa Joe and Nonna!  I was more excited to embrace Sara and Ryan and couldn't wait to slowly go to Landon to see if he would come to me...I scooped him up, but noticed he had a cute little tee on...being way too excited to "read", I brought the kids in the house and had lunch ready for them.  Putting Landon in the highchair, I kept trying to compute what the tee said.  Their son sporting a tee...
T-shirt read:

Club "Only Child"
Membership Expires July 2013!

I looked puzzled I'm sure...first I looked at Sara, then Ryan, then the tee again.  Finally I said--rather truthfully I squealed to Sara...are you going to have another baby?  I jumped up and down, hugged Sara and Ryan and could not stop smiling...Sara can attest to the fact that I did indeed jump up and down with elation!

Papa Joe came home shortly after the kids had lunch and I was trying to keep myself contained...anyone that knows me, knows all too well this can be a challenge for me...I kept indicating that he should "READ" Landon's tee.  Joy swept over his face and he immediately had hugs for everyone.  Jenna returned home from work just thrilled at the thought of another  nephew or niece was on the way.  Adam found out by way of Facetime on my iPhone since he was still in the Northeast for school.

Ryan and Sara were just beaming and said they were so excited--and remarked how hard it was to keep it a secret for a month from us.  It was still very they asked that we not share the news with anyone.

Sara and baby are almost 4 months along in the pregnancy, coupled with the fact that Sara literally can't keep the baby news in much baby #2 has decided to make his/her presence known! 

So as we begin the New Year, we have so much to be thankful for...the arrival of a new family member is just the beginning!

So July 7th is the ETA for Baby Corl #2.
We are praying (and always appreciate prayers) for a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery for Sara and baby!

I Lasso enjoying the amazing joy our grandson brings into our lives! 

I Lasso the anticipation of another grand baby to love!